Things Never to Say to Someone Who is Incontinent

What not to say

Are you caring for a loved one that has incontinence and needs help with their incontinence products? Managing incontinence can be a very embarrassing condition to many people and caregivers often find that it can be stressful as their loved one has dementia and can be hard to talk to and to help. There are so many quality incontinence products on the market now that managing incontinence is easier than ever but it can be hard for anyone to talk about incontinence as it is such a personal issue.

Since incontinence is such an embarrassing condition to many people you need to approach it with a certain level of respect and discreteness. People can become irate in a hurry if you are bringing up the subject as they feel awkward about it. As long as you remain calm, understanding, and candid about the conversation you will find that discussing incontinence doesn’t need to have a weird taboo around it. There are certain things you should not say to a person that is incontinent as it will embarrass and upset them. Here are a few of the things you need to avoid saying:
1.       “I bought you adult diapers because you are making messes everywhere and I do not want to clean up after you anymore.” Your loved one likely knows that they have a problem and they are embarrassed about it. Do not make them feel worse about having incontinence by throwing a package of adult diapers at them and demanding that they wear them. Instead you need to purchase a handful of incontinence products for them to try out and find a product that works well for their needs. Approach them alone and gently say that you have noticed they have been struggling to maintain control over their bladder and you found some products that can help. Talk to them about going to see the doctor to get tested and to make sure there is not another condition happening that is causing them to have problems with incontinence.
2.       “Why can’t you make it to the bathroom?” Incontinence is not an easy condition to live with and many people have absolutely no warning as to when the bladder will release itself. Instead of making your loved one feel worse about their condition, be supportive of them and try to help them. Make it easier for them to get to the bathroom by removing obstacles in the way. You also need to purchase incontinence products like bed pads and other things to protect your furniture and to help your loved one manage their condition. Show them the following link: Together you can look over a handful of incontinence products that can help them to manage their condition and will prevent embarrassment.
3.       “Don’t drink too much”. Loved ones managing incontinence likely do not want to drink but when you do not drink enough your body ends up getting dehydrated. The bladder also can get an infection because you are not cleaning it out enough. Do not stop your loved one from drinking but encourage them to drink only water as other things (caffeine, tea, alcohol) can stimulate the bladder to release urine. Instead take them to the doctor so they can explain to them the importance of drinking and to see if there are different times of the day to drink less , like before bedtime, so they do not have an accident when it is harder to control it.
Incontinence products will make managing your loved ones problem easier. You just need to be supportive of them and rely on their doctor to help you out if you are embarrassed about talking to them about their problems with incontinence.

Call us.  We're here to help you.
About The CareGiver Partnership. The CareGiver Partnership helps caregivers and their loved ones with answers to their caregiving questions, including information about home health care products and supplies, from our Wisconsin-based team of Product Specialists who are all current or former caregivers. The company’s Web site provides the largest online library of resources on subjects most important to caregivers — from arthritis to assisted living, and Parkinson’s to prostate cancer — as well as access to more than 3,000 home care products for incontinence, skin care, mobility, home safety and daily living aids. The CareGiver Partnership was founded in 2004 by Lynn Wilson of Neenah, Wisc. Visit to learn more or call 1-800-985-1353.


Post a Comment