Dating With Incontinence: Tips and Tricks

It is possible to date with incontinence. 
Having incontinence can be a real blow to self-confidence. The discomfort that comes from potentially leaking, makes socializing awkward, let alone dating. However, it is possible to date with incontinence. The following are some tips to keep urinary incontinence from messing with your romantic relationships, and allow you to gain the confidence you need to socialize regularly:

Tip one: Skip the triggers.

Certain foods and beverages can irritate the bladder and increase the need to go. Skipping alcohol, caffeine, carbonation, citrus juices, and acidic foods can help decrease the urge to go, and help you get through social situations without having to use the bathroom too much.

Tip two: Limit intake, but don’t dehydrate.

If you are out on a date, be smart about your fluid intake. If you are seeing a movie for example, stop drinking water an hour or so before so you can make it through without too many trips to the restroom. But don’t let yourself get dehydrated, this will lead to more frequent urges, as the concentrated urine can irritate the bladder lining.

Tip three: Plan well.

When on a date, planning smart can help relieve anxiety. For example, pre-buy movie (or concert or whatever) tickets at the end of the row, nearest the exit so that if you need to go, you can make it to the restroom in time. Also go just before and just after the movie. Also having a backup outfit, or extra absorbent products can always make life easier should you leak. Women can carry a large tote style bag to hide a change, and men can slip an extra pair of briefs into their pant pocket, or keep a backup pack in their car.

Tip four: Know where bathrooms are.

If you know where to go when an urge hits, you will feel far more confident. It can be helpful to find family style bathrooms as they provide more privacy to someone who has to change an absorbent product or their clothing. There is more space, and no one will see your head above the stall. But even if they are not available, it can’t hurt to ask to be seated near a bathroom. And it can provide greater peace of mind.

Tip five: Don't keep it secret too long. 

If you start to get serious with someone, or are considering intimacy, broach the subject, as it can be complex. Waiting until you are in the heat of the moment could prove to be far more embarrassing than getting it out there early. Explaining that it is a medical condition, and explain the treatment and management methods you are taking.

Dating with bladder issues is not impossible, and incontinence should not be the reason you are staying in. You do not have to stick close to the bathroom and at home if you learn your triggers, how to deal with them, manage your symptoms, keep an open mind, and remember to practice healthy habits. Taking care of your body, maintaining a healthy weight, avoiding things like alcohol and smoking, can help improve your symptoms and give you more confidence to date and socialize without embarrassment.

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About The CareGiver Partnership.   The CareGiver Partnership helps caregivers and their loved ones with answers to their caregiving questions, including information about home health care products and supplies, from our Wisconsin-based team of Product Specialists who are all current or former caregivers. The company’s Web site provides the largest online library of resources on subjects most important to caregivers — from arthritis to assisted living, and Parkinson’s to prostate cancer — as well as access to more than 3,000 home care products for incontinence, skin care, mobility, home safety and daily living aids. The CareGiver Partnership was founded in 2004 by Lynn Wilson of Neenah, Wisc. Visit to learn more or call 1-800-985-1353.


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