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| What was the last thing you did for you? |
Article written and contributed by: Josephine Harwood
Congratulations! You
rock! You are a family caregiver! Now, pat yourself on the back because you are
awesome! No one can do what you do for
your loved one. No one could possibly
understand the sacrifices you make or why you even choose to make them. You do whatever needs to be done because you
give unconditionally, and I am certain you could easily recall the last thing
you did for your loved one.
Now, tell me, what was the last thing you did for…you?
Hmmm, you hesitated, didn’t you? Of course you did, because family caregivers
rarely think of themselves. You don’t
have time to worry about your own needs.
That’s a selfish attitude, right?
It’s not about you. It’s about
your loved one. It doesn’t matter that
you’re feeling a little tired and run down.
You can handle it. Your loved one
is counting on you. Asking for help is
not an option. Asking for help is the
same as admitting defeat.
But what happens when you give…too much? You start to fill up with negative emotions
like anger, frustration, and even resentment.
Does this sound familiar? If it
does, you are well on your way to caregiver burnout.
The daily duties and challenges as a caregiver can sometimes
feel like a wall that has fallen against your back. Every day the weight becomes a little heavier
to endure until the wall threatens to crush you…and your loved one, as well.
You need a break.
No, stop shaking your head.
You are not being selfish. You
are not abandoning your loved one. You are recharging, remembering how to breathe,
again, and reminding yourself that you are doing the very best you can. Call a family member, a friend, or your local
home-health care agency and ask them to sit with your loved one while you go
out and do something just for you! Go
shopping, go to the gym, get your hair done, get a pedicure, go to lunch with a
friend, go sit in the park and feed the ducks…do whatever helps you to
relax.
I am very passionate about reaching out to the family
caregiver. When I was six-months
pregnant with my first child, my mother suffered a massive stroke. Needless to say, diaper changes took on a
whole new meaning for me. I wish someone
had told me all those years ago it was normal to feel uncertain, confused, and
overwhelmed and asking for help once in a while wasn’t being selfish.
In my latest novel, Empathy,
a compassionate caregiver named Delilah Walker tries to help a loving family
cope after their mother suffers a debilitating stroke. Although Empathy
is a fictional story, some of the incidents and situations described in the
book are based on my own personal experiences as a family caregiver for the
past twenty-six years.
Empathy was
written for you, my fellow family caregiver.
So, do me a favor?
Yes, of course, check out my book, but I want you to do something,
first. Make a list of ALL the things you
do for your loved one. Don’t forget to
include things like balancing a checkbook, making doctor appointments, or
dispensing medication. You might be
surprised and a little overwhelmed as you write your list. Once you’ve completed your list, read it out
loud. Now add this line at the very
bottom:
I deserve a break.
My fellow family caregiver, it’s time to take care of…you.
Pinterest
About the author:
I am a wife, mother, family caregiver, and author. In my spare time I enjoy reading romance
novels, working on jigsaw puzzles, and writing stories. I love classic rock music, football season,
and spending quality time with my family and friends. Both of my books, Dark Secrets
and Empathy,
are available at major online book stores including Amazon, B&N, iTunes,
and Smashwords.
Now, it’s your turn!
I would love to hear from you!
Facebook caregiver page: Empathy
& Caregivers 911
Facebook author page: Josephine
Harwood author
Twitter: @joharwood6
Email: josephineharwoodauthor@gmail.com
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